It seems absurd really, wondering that at my age, and with my life. Maybe when I settle down one day…but there’s one thing wrong with that. I don’t want to settle down. That’s not what love is anyway, you can’t have love that’s settled down. It has to be bruising, exciting, painful, wonderful and…everything that I need right now. I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever been in my life. They say love is like a drug, like the best feeling in the world times four. I think it must be more like you’re just about to commit suicide, and you jump off the cliff, ready to die…then you grow wings. That must be it. It has to save you from everything you’ve ever been afraid of and everything that could ever hurt you. I’m scared to death of something that powerful taking over my life, but I want it more than I can express. I want the poetry of it, more than anything else. It’s romantic and soul-devouring stuff. Or at least, it must be…it has to be. It’s all I believe in anymore. Aside from the. Still had some of the boyish charm. His dark hair hung just past his collar. His eyes were deep blue pools and he had a bit of a dimple in his left cheek. He noticed me looking at him and he smiled. I looked away for fear that he'd think I was staring but he was too good looking to look away for too long. He noticed me looking at him again and I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks. I looked at my watch to see how much time was left until the bus arrived. I wanted to disappear into the crowd but his eyes were locked on me. I couldn't figure out what he saw in me but he seemed transfixed on my every move. I tried to concentrate on my book but I kept re-reading the same sentence because I was distracted by his gaze. Finally, the bus arrived and I started to move along with the crowd. I walked towards the back of the bus and he followed me. The bus filled up quickly and as I had hoped, the seats were taken by the ones that needed them the most. He stepped behind me and held on.
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